Vinyl is a passion of mine, but like any hobby it has its high points and not-so-high points. Here are some first-world problems faced by many of today’s record collectors.  Enjoy!

1. Invisible Skips

Has this happened to you? You’ve found a record you want. You’ve negotiated down to a fair price with the record dealer.  You’ve looked it over and it’s clean, you can see your reflection in the wax. But when you get it home you hear a jump in one of the songs. No matter how hard you strain your eyes and no matter how strong the light is in the room, you can’t find any imperfections.

There are a couple of options in here.  You can try it on a different turntable to see if the culprit is the stylus you’re using. You can adjust the tracking force on the counterweight to see if that helps. You can clean the record like you’re Howard Hughes to see if you can get that last bit of microscopic debris out of the groove.  But there are times when you will try all of these things to no avail.  Perhaps it’s an error in the pressing. Who knows?  But it’s annoying nonetheless.

2. “The Book”

This has only happened to me a handful of times, usually with older record dealers who haven’t delved into this little fad known as the internet.  But I remember the first time it happened…

I was at an outdoor flea market and there was a man with a few cardboard boxes of records.  I found a nice copy of the soundtrack to the Giorgio Moroder Metropolis (1984) for $2 and was looking at some other stuff.  Most of the records weren’t marked for the simple fact that, according to the dealer, they were “all different prices.”

There was a Dion and The Belmonts album I looked at.  When I asked how much, the guy ducked back into his trailer and pulled out (….drum roll please….) “The Book.”  It was a record price guide from God knows when. He showed me the listing, and according to whoever published this guide, the Dion record fetched $60.  There it was right in front of me and in print.  Empirical evidence of a gougingly high price.  Irrefutable. Why?  Because the book sez so!  I passed on the record altogether.

The reason I don’t like record price guides is because they are a snapshot of what something was valued at during one moment in time, often from years ago.  Take any record and watch for what it sells for online. I guarantee you the value will waver and dip depending on who’s selling it, who wants it, what condition it’s in, how much shipping is, and how much someone is willing to spend.

3. “This goes for $(fill in the blank) on ebay.”

Ebay can be a valuable tool, but it’s not the last word.  Especially when it’s used improperly.  I was at a yard sale a few years ago looking at records.  The man selling them tried to convince me that his 12″ Disco version of Miss You by The Rolling Stones was selling for $50 on ebay.  “I’ll pull up the listing on my phone and show it to you.” he said.  I wasn’t interested because I already knew where the discrepancy was.  He was looking at current “Buy It Now” prices rather than completed auctions.  There is a huge difference between how much someone wants for a record versus how much it sells for.

One time I stumbled upon a rare 45 that had sold on ebay a month prior for $100 with about 14 bids.  I wasted no time in creating a listing for my copy. Mine was in lesser condition, I described it to a tee and even uploaded an audio track so any prospective bidder could hear my copy. My opening bid was $5.00.  No bites at all and after 7 days the listing ended.  I did the same thing again with an opening bid of $0.99.  No bites again.  It’s true that something is only worth as much as someone is willing pay for it.

4. “Oh you like records?  Well, I have some Beatles ….”

Let me preface this by saying – yes I do like some of The Beatles’ stuff.  My favorites are Magical Mystery Tour (1967) and The White Album (1968.)  The influence The Beatles continue to have on rock and roll is immeasurable and what I respect the most about them is that they truly were artists who were not afraid to take risks and push the envelope.

Having said that – just because I like vinyl doesn’t mean I need to have every Beatles album that ever came down the pike.  That’s like saying everyone who likes sci-fi films loves Blade Runner (1982) or everyone who likes sports watches football.  It sounds silly but that’s the way some people think.  Those same people also seem to think that no matter how beat up, water-stained or scratched a Beatles record is, it’s worth money.  Strange….